SOME VILLAIN HATH DONE ME WRONG

I am so fucking angry. I'm in this hostel for gits, and every time I want to publish my wise thoughts the computers are all taken by stupid people, sending emails to their stupid friends. "weather is great LOL, how is dave?" Idiots.

Those stinking backpackers stole my towel. First they came for my socks, but, because I was not a sock, I did nothing. Then my towel was hanging up to dry and someone made off with it, like a low Turk. My favourite towel, with leopards on it. I gave a description to the cops. We just have a couple of hundred homicides to deal with, then we'll get onto it, they sneered. They probably thought it was some kind of insurance scam.

I'm in Medellin. Murders have in fact fallen from 3,450 in 2002, to a mere 812 this year, which is more than the whole UK, but is still safer than going over the Niagara Falls in a barrel. That's the way I look at it.


Idiot