HEADS MUST ROLL

Guess the celeb:

He did things that got him into the newspapers for all sorts of reasons. He was drinking heavily, there were times when he was overweight. The media were all over everything he did. You have to hope that the thousands of pounds he’s spent on therapy and rehab to try to battle his demons will have an effect. He’ll probably be remembered as the best player England never had.

If I gave you a thousand guesses you wouldn’t get it: it’s the Prophet Mohammed, from Radio Five’s The Real Mohammed. You click the clink, and the life of Mohammed turns out to be a load of boring rubbish about football- 55 dismal minutes of it. The BBC actually managed to confuse Mohammed, one of the all time great prophets, with Gazza, a footballer with a face like a resentful stoat.

Ah, well. Mistakes happen. I’m sure the Muslims will see the funny side.