LIVE BLOGGING THE PLANE CRASH
7.04: The plane is in the air. It’s going to crash land.
7.15: OMG, OMG, it’s going to crash! Arrrgghh!
7.20: It’s the landing gear. According to Sean Hannity it’s buggered. If there’s any more news on that I’ll keep you posted.
7.25: It still hasn’t crashed, but one feels it’s bound to, sooner or later.
7.28: Hannity- is that guy a tosser, or what?
7.31: The plane is still flying around in circles. I’m sure they know what they’re doing. The important thing is not to panic.
7.40: If you panic you’re a gonner.
7.50: The plane is still coming into land. It’s in the hands of the pilots now. They’re all alone up there. They must be pissing into their trousers with dread.
7.52: These people are highly trained.
7.55: Is it blasphemous for man to soar into the heavens in great silver birds?
7.58: This is the kind of thing the pilots are trained for. It will be a challenge for them, but the guy on Fox News thinks they’re ready for it. They are highly trained. They've said that, like, eight times.
7.59: The plane is circling and circling and circling.
8.03: We should perhaps have a moment’s silence for the shareholders. Imagine wiping out a whole planeload of Californians. The legal bills will be horrifying.
8.06: They will make an attempt at landing, soon at the latest.
8.10: Right, I’m bored now. Is Friends on? Fuck, I hate that show.
8.12: I bought some avocadoes earlier. Tasty with mayonnaise. Just popping to the kitchen to fetch one.
8.14: I’m back!
8.17: It’s coming in, it’s coming in.
8.20: Well that was a waste of time. Bit of smoke, a few sparks, but basically a load of hogwash. Right, a cup of tea, I think.
8.28: Oooh, yeah. That hit the spot.
8.30: Guy on Fox News says they’ve got to get everybody off the plane. Everybody. No passenger left behind, not even in Economy Class. I find that very moving. We can learn a lot from these Americans.
8.33: The Business Class passengers are leaving the plane now. They're all right. I repeat: the Business passengers are all right. Thank God for that.
8.45: They let the Economy Class people off too. I think that’s everything.
11.00: End live blogging. Up the stairs to Bedfordshire.
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