NOTHING FISHY ABOUT MONSTER CARP, SAYS KRUGMAN

A local economist is celebrating catching a record-breaking carp. Professor Paul Krugman, 72, caught the 70lb monster in the grounds of the ruined Princeton Pizza Hut yesterday.

“I couldn’t believe it,” said the father of six. “I’ve never caught more than a crisp packet before.”

The Royal Angling Society has confirmed that the fish is the largest ever caught in Yorkshire.

“I’m going to stuff it and put it down my trousers,” said Krugman, who has also landed some big fish in the crime world. Last year he broke up the "Austrian" crime ring and put mob boss “Sub-optimal” Don Luskin behind bars. It took more than twenty hours to land the carp, but Krugman always gets his man... or his fish.

His wife was less impressed. “Since he took up fishing me and the kids have hardly seen him,” she moaned. “What an asshole!”

Some have expressed doubt about the catch, noting that no one was around to witness it. Professor Von Schnarchen of the Guinness Book of Records told them to quit carping. “It is bigger than average, certainly, but fish this size are increasingly common. There is certainly no reason for suspicion.”

Fishing cheat Brad Delong was left red-faced last year when he won a bet by catching a haddock that he bought from pet shop three days earlier.

The Princeton Pizza Hut was dissolved in 1552 during the reign of Edward VI. Millions of pounds worth of gold and silver plate was lost.
- posted by Harry Hutton @ 1:59 am