WAR FEVER
"From now on you must attack wherever and whenever I least expect it." ...Clouseau opens fridge; Cato leaps out, screaming, and seizes him by the throat.

I have a friend who works in an army base in Caracas, and she says that this is what the atmosphere is currently like: everyone doing surprise attacks on everyone else; pouncing when they are not looking; trying to sneak past security with joke bombs, etc.

They are expecting to be attacked any day now, at least the President is, at least he says he is. (Like most outbreaks of lunacy around here, this is traceable to Chavez.) Hearing him speak you would think the dictator George Bush had massed his tanks on the border, and an invasion was absolutely imminent. Everyone is talking about “asymmetric warfare”, which means that when the insolent boot of the invader sets foot on the sacred soil of the patria, etc., they will have to deal with the Reserves (some fellows with paint on their faces).

“There is no army in the world that can stand up to...” says Chavez. In reality, their puny barricades would hold up an invader for about an hour: 59 minutes laughing, and one minute to drive over them.

A couple of weeks ago mi comandante said that Venezuela shouldn’t sit around waiting to be attacked, but should "take the initiative." If this means what it appears to mean, Chavez is going to invade the United States!
- posted by Harry Hutton @ 7:07 pm