I HAVEN’T HAD THIS MUCH SEX SINCE I WAS A BOY SCOUT LEADER
The Festival of the Easily-Duped ended last night. I can neither quantify nor isolate the stupidity I have seen this last week in Caracas. Chavez could break wind and stick his head in a bucket of porridge, and still they would cheer.

It was a laugh though. I haven’t had this much sex since I was a boy scout leader* The only thing that depressed me was the ceaseless chanting. Do not chant under any circumstances. It’s sub-human.

*Frank Drebbin in Naked Gun. Actually, it was more of a challenge than I thought it would be. A girl from the Kim Il Sung Socialist Youth League gave me her number, but it’s an +8502 number (Pyongyang). Another delegate came out with me for a drink, but she only wanted to bitch about the United States all night, which isn't my idea of fun. Did she want to come back to my place and denounce George Bush? She did not.



The Lebanese Communist Party


Delegate from Tanzania





-Um, why do you have a picture of Stalin on your shirt?
-He is one of the classic figures in the history of development. After the death of Lenin, he was the one who maintained the character of the Soviet Union.
-But did he not...?
-Yeah, yeah, he killed a bunch of people, we can all agree that’s terrible. But why does no one ever talk about all the good things he did?

Then he started ranting about Brezhnev. I made my excuses and left.


From the American delegation


A twerp


Libyan delegate. When I told him I was from England he said, "England good. Tony Blair!" and gave the thumbs up sign.

Tony Blair? He's a monster.


Kim Il Sung badge. I didn't see any Pol Pot badges, or Vlad the Impaler t-shirts. That type of extremism would have been quite out of place at the Festival of Youth and Students.


I'm the guy in the red shirt


Waiting for Chavez to arrive we had to listen to some ghastly droning woman. She was all “every two seconds three million people die of malnutrition, especially children.” And I’m like, “Yawn City. How is that my fault?” This went on for some time. She would talk about the problems in Chad, or some bloody place, and say that it was America’s fault and especially affected the children.

There are plenty of things to criticise about the United States. Their pop music, for example, and their stupid whiny voices. But don’t try to tell me they conduct “internal wars of extermination” or that people in the Indian reservations aren’t allowed to leave (as Chavez claimed, on Sunday night).

Some people bitched at me when I refused to join in their Mexican wave. I could have told them that if liberty means anything at all, it is the right not to participate in imbecile Mexican waves. Instead, I withdrew disdainfully to buy a hot dog. Don’t want to die of malnutrition.




Germans


No sex with Nazis. Why ever not? It is absurd to have hard-and-fast rules about whom one should have sex with.


The guy with the Stars and Stripes hid his face when I pointed a camera at him.








Venezuelans


The book is Chomsky’s Hegemony or Survival. When I was here in 2000-2002 I don’t remember anyone using the word imperialism. The subject just didn’t come up.

I suspect that Chomsky is the autor intelectual of the whole thing.
- posted by Harry Hutton @ 5:57 pm (0) comments