KILLER FACT!
The annual execution rate for prisoners on death row in the US is 2%. The death rate for street-level drug sellers is 7%, so they would be safer on death row.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
ECONOMICS AND POLITICS
I agree with Abu Hamza- up to a point
The time I punched JK Galbraith
Who was worse: Blair or Hitler?
CELEBRITY NEWS
A Rolex, though ugly, will pay for itself in quim
Colombian death squads dump Kate Moss
50 Cent almost too stupid to speak
Nothing fishy about monster carp says Krugman
MEANINGLESS HOAXES
Correspondence with the Ku Klux Klan
Correspondence with Boris Johnsons
British Airways- I'll show those fucks
Is this a library or a bordello?
TEACHING ENGLISH
Your child is an illiterate cabbage
Like a trouser, yet not a trouser The British Council- at least it's not run by a drunk
Non-academic sub-adult clowning
You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear
No sane man cares about such things
Your daughter is very beautiful, but unfortunately completely stupid
The Dunderheads shall inherit the earth
This is a real pain in the arse
BRITAIN
I'm sick of this country and its stupid taps
The British public are deeply stupid The UK's most successful ethnic group
The man on the Clapham omnibus is a cretin
Reflections on the British drunk
Do you want a punch in the mouth?
How many divisions has Eddie Izzard?
Most of the world’s problems still caused by Britain This country's really gone to hell since we stopped burning papists
Many of my best friends are bishops
Reading, Berkshire, is a dog hole
COLOMBIA
Shut your cake hole, you lunatic
I don't care about human rights that much
That which does not kill you almost kills you
I don't know how much more I can take
VENEZUELA
Dancing on the deck of the Titanic
You toucha my pies, I shoota you head
The pros and cons of domestic violence
Life? Don't talk to me about life
The evil Castro cured my cough
Breast implants out of control
Venezuelan crude is heavy and sour, like the women in High Wycombe
One of those parties that got out of hand
Do you believe everything The Economist tells you?
Don King has lots of good ideas
BLOGGERS
The Instapundit: a master of the bore's craft
Pie attacks on Professor Krugman Eminem, Bin Laden, Tim Blair, etc.
If you don't clear off, I'll set the dogs on you Malkins and Hinderaker: not for an age, but for all time
Instapundit failing the boring man in a pub test
THE GREAT BIG WAR AGAINST TERROR
If you stick your dick in a bees' nest you'll get stung
I am opposed to the hacking off of heads
Iraq- it's all a matter of perspective
Bush pursues terrorist beyond the grave
NORTH KOREA
Kim Jong Il wouldn't do that- it's irrational
If London is still standing in 2020, I'll eat my hat
The time I saw a woman get savaged by a bear
SPORTS JOURNALISM
People who like football should be put in boxes and bulldozed into the sea Please hit our fans with clubs
I love Brazilian Ultimate Fighting
PALESTINE
The time I worked as a film censor in the Gaza Strip
Someone threw a bomb in our garden
It is high time Mr Arafat made up his mind if he is going to live or die
Israel / Palestine- the problem of two men in one trousers
AUSTRALIA
Is it wrong to execute Australians?
The Australian Broadcasting Corporation
LITERATURE
Your severed foot would look good on my coffee table
STUDENT WORK
When you sleep on the "cheap" bed, you will feel it is too bad TRAVEL
Christ were those peasants ugly
TODD MATHERS
MISC
Survey: Britons marginally less unpopular than the French If you like rock music you must be stupid
People now idiots- TV to blame
Goldman Sachs makes billions shorting Goldman Sachs stock
BARRY HUTTON'S POSTS KILLER FACTS! Killer Fact! (Quality of life index) Killer Fact! (British National Party) Killer Fact! (Brazil, World Cup) Killer Fact! (Lenin, Trotsky, Stalin, Engels)
Killer Fact! (Iraq / foxhunting)
Killer Fact! (Drug abuse in Iran)
Killer Fact! (Saddam Hussein / New York Times)
Killer Fact! (Suicide bombers)
Killer Fact! (Australian women)
Killer Fact! (Cocaine mark-ups)
Killer Fact! (Nobel Prizes by nationality)
Killer Fact! (King Shaka of the Zulus)
Killer Fact! (highest-grossing film in history)
Killer Fact! (Churchill's mother)
Killer Fact! (Fastest growing economies)
Killer Fact! (First English sentence)
Killer Fact! (Wodehouse, Raymond Chandler)
Killer Fact! (Swiss Civil War)
Killer Fact! (Alcohol consumption)
Killer Fact! (Anglo-French Wars)
Killer Fact! (Price of barrels)
Killer Fact! (Top ten warmongers)
Killer Fact! (Karl Marx' uncle)
Killer Fact! (Yuletide murders)
Killer Fact! (Romeo and Juliet)
Killer Fact! (New York Times / Saddam Hussein)
Killer Fact! (The Evil Castro)
IS IT WRONG TO EXECUTE AUSTRALIANS?
“It's very much an individual choice I think, whether one executes.” (Peter Cook)
They are hanging Nguyen Tuong Van in the morning. I am not myself in favour of hanging Australians. I’m in favour of beheading them, but hanging is oafish. The government of Singapore has come in for a lot of criticism for this unpleasant fetish of theirs; but as long as they are sure, beyond all reasonable doubt, that he is Australian... As David C says in the comments, which of us can honestly put his hand on his heart and say that we haven’t at some time wanted to hang an Aussie? I know I have.
Let he who is without motes in his eye cast the first beam.
I don’t know why the government of Australia doesn’t string up a couple of Singaporeans in retaliation. That’s what I would do. It’s idiotic, but sometimes idiocy is all we have left.
KILLER FACT!
Among Hispanic immigrants in the United States Colombians are the best educated, followed by Cubans. Other Latin immigrants are almost as dumb as the natives, unfortunately.
Most educated of all are the Indians.
SILENCE!
Silences to be observed by UK citizens during the week beginning Nov 28th:Monday- 10am: Tsunami victims (2 minute silence); 3pm: Ronnie Barker (1 min)
Sunday will be left open for any bloodbaths and earthquakes that may arise during the week. Failure to observe silences will result in an on-the-spot fine. Thank you for your co-operation.
Tuesday- 11am: Gianni Versace (3 mins): 2 pm: Armenian Genocide (1 min)
Wednesday- 10am: African children, dysentery (1 min); 3pm: Enron shareholders (1 min)
HIV Thursday- 11am: landmine victims (1 min); 3pm: River Phoenix (2 mins)
Friday- 11am: Srebrenica massacre (1 min); 3pm: Paula Yates (cancelled)
Saturday- 11am: SARS (1 min); Robin Cook (4 mins)
VOTE NOW
Are you a Trotskyite, a Ba'athist or a Dixiecrat? Have your say. Take part in Bogol's cretinous online poll.
ONE OF THEM
I thought Brownie of Harry's Place was one of us. He turns out to be... one of them."You can keep your Chopin, Sistine Chapel and Da Vinci sketches. If I want to see a real artist at work, I’ll put on a video and watch George Best drop a shoulder as he rounds the Benfica goalkeeper in 1968... God used to think he was omnipotent, then at 3 o-clock on November 25th 2005, he saw George Best doing keepie-up in Paradise."
I suppose this kind of thing is very moving if you’re from the north, or somewhere like that. On eBay they are auctioning an empty bottle of Château Haut Brion Pessac-Léognan 1982 that Best once poured over his dick to celebrate his hat-trick against West Ham. (Actually, it was Miss Canada who did the pouring; but at Best's behest.)
Best was also one of them. In fact, it wouldn't be much of an exaggeration to say that George Best, Miss Canada and Brownie of Harry's Place were three of them.
A DRINKER WITH A FOOTBALLING PROBLEM
George Best, the bon vivant, has died. He would generally start the day with kippers and a pint of Scotch. During the morning he would drink three or four pints of beer. He would have a bottle of wine with his lunch, then a quart of ale to tide him through the afternoon. After dinner he would drink a bottle of champagne, then half a bottle of Scotch before bed. And, would you believe it, he's dead.
If you ask me, he was in danger of becoming an alcoholic.
Now that we’ve finally got rid of the tiresome sod there’s going to be a big outbreak of weeping northerners, bless their warm little hearts. Mercifully, it will probably take the form of standing in silence with a stupid solemn expression, wiping away a manly tear, rather than all-out Liverpudlian-style blubbering. I’d love to tell you some anecdotes about how I used to stand on the terraces wi’ me old Dad, eatin’ pies; but I’m afraid I don’t have any.
I will say this for George Best: though in many ways a nuisance, he was charm itself compared to the rapists, coke-heads and wife-beaters who followed.
I LIKE BOYS OF MIXED RACE, SLOBBERS REPUBLICAN GOVERNOR
"After watching the mulattoes shake it I can understand why Brazil is totally devoted to my favorite body part, the ass," said Arnold [Schwarzenegger].
In Brazil a mulato is a boy or man of mixed race. And, as luck would have it, many of the girls of mixed race (mulatas) also turn out, on closer inspection, to be boys of mixed race. Schwarzenegger is Austrian, of course.
Discovering that your new girlfriend has a dick could ruin the whole holiday, if you were square about it. But my view has always been that you win some and you lose some, and you should try to be gracious about it. Almost any perversion, however sickening, is good for a couple of hours on a Saturday afternoon, or a weekend in Rio (or France). As long as you don’t go on and on about it, or structure your whole lifestyle around forcing falafel up your rear-loader, to take an example at random, I say it’s all good; get stuck in. I would draw the line at dogging, however.
What the Governor of California gets up to in the privacy of Club Oba Oba is perfectly vile. But as long as it isn’t a drain on the public purse, that is no concern of mine.
He’s my kind of Republican.
EVERYONE LOVES A CANNIBAL
"Everyone loves a cannibal – at a safe distance, of course." (Anthony Daniels)
Some opening lines I have come across recently.
"There is no life without a double life. And yet one grows weary." (Tim Parks)
"Tue, 12 Apr
Few things warm the heart so much as the death of a dog." (Hemlock)
UPDATE! As a dog lover, I would like to distance myself from that last one. But change dog to doggone tennis player and I would run it up the flagpole and salute. Tennis players contribute nothing to the planet and should be exterminated, in my opinion. All they do is mince around making retarded remarks such as “thirty-love”, wasting everyone’s time and acting like they own the place. I really hate them, to be honest with you.
There are two things in this world I will not tolerate: tennis players, and the people who hide them.
MAKING THE BEST OF A BAD DO
2005: Blogged is in the shops. I went to a book-signing session this afternoon at Waterstones in the Charing Cross Road. They didn’t have it, but I managed to write my name in sixteen copies of Krugman’s The Great Unravelling before I got slung out.
BRITISH AIRWAYS- I’LL SHOW THOSE FUCKS
Going on a trip? Don’t forget to take some cigarette butts in your hand luggage. Leave them lying around the plane, it really pisses them off. They can’t work out why their nerdish smoke detectors aren’t working, and the look on their miserable faces sends my pleasure sensors soaring. I’ll show those fucks.
One time on BA this twerp came on the intercom to denounce me. He was all, “One of you filthy animals in Economy was smoking. We know who you are, please don’t fly again with British Airways.” But he didn’t know who I was, for once again I had outwitted them. One day I’m going to sneak on board with a jar of bees. Hopefully they'll swarm up to Business Class and sting everyone to buggery. It will be the last thing they're expecting.
No one likes airlines. You could be a surgeon or a Crown Court judge, but the moment you set foot in an airport you’ll be treated like a mutinous ten-year old on a school outing. The pre-flight nagging now goes on for twenty minutes. “For your comfort and safety, and the safety of other passengers, we would ask that you chew your complimentary peanuts eight times before swallowing, with your seatbelt fastened.” Shut it, you whore, before I wring your neck. Contrary to your ludicrous claims, it is not possible to bring down a Boeing 747 with a Marlborough Light. Believe me, I’ve tried. And could you ask that pilot to shut his cake hole? He’s been badgering us for about five minutes now with his wretched droning, and if I’m exposed to much more of it I’m going to bite someone.
Who does he think he is?
BERKSHIRE, HOME OF THE MORON
Open letter to Rob Wilson MP, Member of Parliament for Reading East:
Dear Sir,
I was in your constituency last week and it was a right dump. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Only a poltroon would represent such a place.
My friend Kevin says that Reading was on our side during the war. This is a preposterous argument. The war ended over a hundred years ago. You can’t keep blaming the Germans every time something goes wrong. The world has moved on. Wake up!
And who is that retard with the stick who’s always banging on bins and howling in the shopping precinct? Is he a relation of yours? Why can’t you do something about him? He’s a flaming idiot. So is everyone else in your festering town, come to think of it. What a dog hole.
Yours faithfully,
Harry Hutton (tax-payer)
KILLER FACT!
Americans are getting thinner, reversing a decades-long trend. In 2002, 64% of the population were porkers*. But this has now plunged to 62%, and is continuing to fall, leading to fears that the Evil Bush is starving everyone to death. Only two years ago fatness pundits were predicting that the American arse would keep expanding to infinity.
The Chinese, meanwhile, continue to get richer and fatter.
*This is why they are known as “the masses”.
HITCHENS
Mad dog Hitchens at the Christian Family Research Council.
That’s virgin on the ridiculous. Or, at least, virgins next to the ridiculous.
THE TERRORISTS IN CLOSETS ARE COMING HOME TO ROOST
Email to the Scottish National Party:
Sir, I was disappointed to see you voting against the terror bill. Why would the police arrest someone if he wasn’t a terrorist? You don’t seem to have thought this through.
For the terrorists who threaten our way of life, ninety days isn't long enough. It should be ninety months. It’s idiotic, but idiocy in the defence of freedom is no vice. If it saves just one child's life it will be worth it. What about ordinary hard-working families? Who speaks for them?
I personally can’t stand ordinary hard-working families. But you are supposed to be looking out for them.
The terrorists in closets are coming home to roost.
The Scottish National Party replies:
MPs did not vote against the terror bill - they only voted against one part of it. The issue at stake was not whether the police should be allowed to arrest people because they believe them to be terrorists, it was about whether the law should be changed to allow people to be held without charge for up to 90 days. No evidence was put forward by the government to support this proposal, and that is why the majority of MPs votes against it.
The SNP had further concerns about this proposal because the government ignored the fact that Scotland has a separate legal system and did not consult the senior law officer in Scotland to establish whether their plans were were legal under Scots law.
In those circumstances I hope you can understand that the SNP had no option but to vote as we did.
Regards
Mhairi Hunter
SNP Policy Unit
To: the Scottish National Party
Thank you very much. That’s a weight off my mind.
God be wi' ye.
KILLER FACT!
From the financial markets, a basket of barrels this week: Barrel of crude- $59
*Assuming 18 litre dogs, priced at $38 a paw. Our allies consider it good sport to shoot the poor beasts. That's so easy it's like shooting dogs in a barrel, they say. Which just shows the total hypocrisy of the Bush regime: they lecture the rest of us on human rights, then roar with sadistic laughter as they shoot dogs in barrels.
Barrel of Evian water- $500
Barrel of orange juice (London prices)- $927
Barrel of dogs*- $1,342
Barrel of Hewlett-Packard printer ink- $470,638
UPDATE! An email arrives:Dear Limey Asshole,
We Americans do shoot dogs, so that, in their absence, we can enjoy the finer things in life. And after a hard day’s bombing stuff and gunning down defenceless hounds, we like nothing better than to unwind with a big ole cigar and a barrel of Hewlett-Packard printer ink.
Try the 85, if you get the chance. Undertones of oak perfectly complement the lead chromate.
Have a great day, ya hear!
KILLER FACT!
If you appeared before magistrates in 2004 you had a 4% chance of getting jailed per court appearance (more, if you done it.) Summary motoring offences make up 50% of total court proceedings in the UK. The average magistrate is 57 years old and sent six and half people to jail last year. 93.3% of magistrates are white.
Nothing wrong with that, of course. Many of my best friends are whites.
A TURRET OF ONE'S OWN
For some reason, Palestinian Prime Minister Mahmood Abbas (a.k.a. Abu Mazen) has a big Star of David in front of his house. This is Al-Rimal, Gaza City’s most exclusive neighbourhood, the Kensington of the Gaza Strip. The building on the right of the photo is Abu Mazen’s pad, commanding great views of some dust.
I don’t know how the Star of David came to be there. There’s another one in Rafah camp, supposedly a “Hamas stronghold”. No one seems to mind.
Nor could I ever discover who lives in that mock turret thing next door to Abu Mazen. Even P. Diddy would regard such a building as being in questionable taste.
I would love to have my own turret, though.
UPDATE! Eagle-eyed readers have spotted that this post is complete bilge. That’s not a Star of Dave, but some other kind of star.
Apologies to Dave for any distress this caused.
KILLER FACT!
Arson attacks in France increased by 2,500% between 1993 and 2000. And cases of arson in Britain rose 200,000% during the 20th century.
The West is losing the War on Arson, along with the War on Drugs, the War on Terror, the War on Fare Dodgers, and some other wars I dont remember right now. Is it time to consider decriminalisation? Making it illegal just drives it underground and gives it a false glamour, like filleting haddock on a wooden surface*. If burning stuff down were legal it could be taxed and controlled, as in Holland. There was a most interesting piece about it in The Economist.
*Banned by the 1990 Food Safety Act, since when cases of food poisoning have obviously rocketed.
THIS COUNTRY'S REALLY GONE TO HELL SINCE WE STOPPED BURNING PAPISTS
Four hundred years ago today a bunch of religious headbangers tried to blow up London. How times have changed.
Killer Fact! Five of the gunpowder plotters were blood relations of William Shakespeare. And Macbeth is full of refererences to the fifth of November. Shakespeare also wrote these lines, as a warning to children on Bonfire Night:The boy stood on the burning deck,
His pocket full of crackers,
One fell down between his legs,
And blew off both his knackers.
DOM JOLY DIPLOMACY
On August 15th, in the Poliedro de Caracas, Chavez said he was going to sneak up behind Bush and shout "Boo!" in his ear hole, at the Summit of the Americas. He hasn't done yet, but he might, and if he does it will be the first time in history that someone has shouted boo into the ear hole of a sitting US President.
It's an unorthodox way of conducting diplomacy, but I'm sure Bush will see the joke.
High-spirited crowds turn out to greet Bush.
UPDATE! Seriously, he really did say that. Though it wasn't exactly "Boo!" It was more sort of "Wah!" But there's no point quibbling: it's extremely good in either version. I doubt if Bush has ever said anything that witty.
NEWS!
-Arlington’s clowan story has ended. "Barely even gibberish, obviously the work of a lunatic." (The Evening Standard.) But forward it to twenty of your friends and you will have luck in the New Year.
-Could Gonzales tell us more? Greg Sargent ponders a legal but pie-in-the-sky scenario for the Fitzgerald investigation.
What? Who? Every tiresome pipsqueak with a website is mouthing off about some boring scandal in America. As far as I can make out, all that happened was that some slippery fellows in suits committed perjury, obstructed justice, sold rifles to the Apaches, etc. There’s the usual ham-fisted thuggery and Clouseau-like bungling from the Bush administration, but no love triangles, no falafel, no bawdy amusement of any kind. I filed it under important, but not to me.
-And speaking of bawdy amusement, our fun-loving Minister of Pensions has resigned again. Mad Dog Blair made some speech.
-Rebekah Wade is a slapper.
(More Killer Facts and other things in the archives.)
Blogger profile
Normblog profile
Don't Date Him Girl.com
Home video
Twitter page
LINKS
NO2ID
Fitwatch
The Queen
NOT SUITABLE FOR MINERS
Emerald Bile
Hung Bunny
Old Holborn
The Magistrate's Blog
THE BIG LYCHEE
Batgung
Flagrant Harbour
Fumier
Glory, Glory Tottenham Hotsblog
Hemlock's Diary
Nude king
Ordinary Gweilo
Pigdogfucker
Seelai
Simonworld
Give me spirit fingers
The Shaky Kaiser
LAND OF THE DINGO
Tim Blair
Bastards Inc
The Love Quote
Tony T
Will Type for Food
MUD ISLAND
Ambulance driver's blog
Aunty Marianne
Virtual Stoa
Eric the Unread
Apostate Windbag
Backward Dave
Blood and Treasure
Brian Appleyard
Brian Micklethwait
Bristling Badger
British Bulldog
Chicken yoghurt
The man on the Clapham omnibus
Copper's Blog
Crooked Timber
The curmudgeon
Ian Dale
Deleted by tomorrow
Devil's Kitchen
Disappointed of West Egg
Doctor Vee
Drink soaked Trostykist popinjays for war
Dsquared
Eskimo
Fat Sparrow
A Fistful of Euros
Flying Rodent
Frank Chalk
Freedom and Whisky
Guest speaker's and writer's corner
Guido Fawkes
Hak Mao
Harry's Place
Horse's Ass Pub
Inspector Gadget
Jah Jah Dub
Japing Ape
Jomama
Jonny Billericay
JuliusB
Konichiwa Bitches
It's a dog's life
Laban the Tall
A Londoner's Life
Manuel Estimulo
My boyfriend is a twat
Natalie Solent
Nick Barlow
Normblog
Patrick Crozier
Pooter Geek
Pub philosopher
Samizdata
Scary Duck
Shuggy
Streams of Consciousness
Squander Two
Tampon Teabag
Thin Blue Line
This is this
Tim Worstall
Twenty Major
Where's the Kaboom?
REVOLTED COLONIES
Alicublog
Angua
Aunt Jemima
Bete du jour
Blair Necessities
Bogol
Demokat
Firedoglake
Jessica Coen
MaxSpeak
Publius Pundit
The People's Republic of Seabrook
Spacestation Shuttle Blog
Tony Pierce
Vice Squad
Zembla
SEAL-CLUBBING DOMINION
Eroticalee (Achtung! Not worksafe.)
LIVING THE VENEZUELAN DREAM
Caracas Chronicles
The Devil's Excrement
vcrisis
Alfredo Octavio
Venezuela News and Views
Oil Wars
Borev
Colombia Reports
HUGUENOTS
Brad Delong
Kim Du Toit
WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING BADGES. JOIN THE NO2ID CAMPAIGN
email: harryjhutton{*}yahoo.com
©Not copyright. Take anything you like, I couldn't give a toss.